Til I Said it to You
by chickenwriter
Summary: “I love you.” Over the years, it had been said many times. Mostly it had been said to Rupert, she felt she was obligated to love her husband, her best friend. But there was never a deep meaning behind it. Oneshot. C & J


'Til I Said it to You

_A/N: Slightly a/u I guess you would call it, but isn't every Clarisse and Joe story? Anyway, the king died earlier in my story, because I wanted the relationship of Joe and Clarisse to be longer. This could have been a longer story, but this is what I can up with... (please forgive me for the cheesy last line...)_ _**Reviews are appreciated!**_

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"_Sometimes I said it_

_when I really didn't mean it_

_just a throw-away promise _

_I knew wasn't true_

_it meant a little less to me_

_every time I did it _

_But I never said 'I love you' from the heart _

'_til I said it to you"_

'_**Til I said it to you - Reba McEntire**_

"I love you." Over the years, it had been said many times. Three little words that could make or break you. Mostly it had been said to Rupert, Clarisse felt she was obligated to love her husband, her best friend. But there was never a deep meaning behind it, never a passion burning so deep inside her that her skin tingled when they touched.

When he passed in '85, she had been expecting it. His illness had taken over his mind, as well as his body. So when the doctors told her to say goodbye, she had been prepared. Rupert _had_ been considerably older. He hadn't been alive for months at that point, at least in her opinion. He'd lie in bed and occasionally mutter a word or two, but never a full conversation, and he barley recognized anyone. So she held his hand, and shed some tears as the line officially went flat.

They used to talk late at night, lying awake, (sometimes for hours), talking of their days. Sometimes he would kiss her, and she would whisper 'I love you.' Of course she meant it, there was no denying that. But he was her best friend, not her lover, this was a different kind of love entirely.

After he died, she realized that she had said something she never meant. Those whispered I Love You's were make-believe, much like their lives. A fairy-tale world.

A new head of security was hired in the summer of '78. There was no denying that he was perfect for the job, not to mention very handsome. Clarisse felt that she had missed out in life, the love she could have given to some man who could have stole her heart had slowly died inside._ Could have, would have, should have..._ The words were meaningless now, lost to duty, the life she gave up.

In '87, it was announced that the queen would not remarry, and that her son would take the throne when he turned 45.

The queen ruled her country with grace and dignity. There was no doubt that her people simply adored her, perhaps more than when Rupert had been alive. Everyday spent in her palace was wonderful and she was always attended to. The finest clothes filled her walk in closets and the most prestigious chefs in Europe cooked Clarisse customized meals. But, as much as her life was perfect it was still missing what it always had been: _Love_.

The dance had happened late at night. The patio was beautifully decorated, and there was nothing better to do than to escape to it. The party guests were bothering the fair queen, and her gown was almost to heavy for a normal person to wear. The patio called to her, advertising silence and some time to think, some time to...breathe. Joseph had joined her on the patio, the music soft in the air, and stood next to her.

"What?" She was frustrated, and that was evident in her voice.

"Nothing, I just saw a beautiful queen out here, and I believe there are tears in those gorgeous blue eyes."

"Joseph." Her voice held a warning. No one had ever dared to call her out so bluntly...yet no one had ever made her feel so flattered while doing so.

"Would you care to dance, your majesty?" _Dance with __the help_ She thought. Yet the way the moon outlined his figure, he looked like much more than 'the help'. His accent was enticing, yet something wasn't right..._Oh...what the heck_?

"Thank you, sir." He held out his hand and she took it, feeling her body being twirled easily into his arms. She felt warm, and alive. For the first time in her life, Clarisse felt genuinely safe.

"Joseph..." She said quietly, laying her head on his shoulder. No one knew how long she had ached for this kind of intimate contact with a man. His hand was holding hers, and they were as close as they could physically be. She felt she could have danced like this all night, possibly forever.

However, when the song ended, the regal queen pulled back quickly. The expression on her face was lined with fear. "No..." She whispered inaudibly.

"Your majesty?" She seemed to float back inside, back to the guests and away from the man who made her weak in the knees. The man that she felt something so eerily unfamiliar about.

Six and a half months later, she had been sitting on a bench in the gardens. A light blue sun dress fell softly across her skin, blowing lightly in the breeze. It was sleeveless, and less than appropriate for a queen (Especially one that was middle-aged) but she had been extremely warm that day. She thought she was alone, thinking about her experience with Joseph, but this was not true. Coming down the path was a man that hadn't left her thoughts since that dance.

"Your majesty, it's a lovely day, isn't it?"_ God, she looks beautiful in that dress..._

"Absolutely." _That's all he has to say?_

"I wanted to talk to you, and I think I gave you an exceptional amount of time to gather your own thoughts."_ Though it has killed me, waiting this long..._

"Hmm..." _Well he could have come sooner..._

"Well...I..." _What do I say?_

"Yes?" _I'll lean in and wait, maybe he'll get the picture!_

"Your majesty, I have a dilemma." _What **is** that? Sheesh._

"What is that?" _Please say something about me! About us!_

"I think I'm in love with an unattainable woman." _You...You, I'm in love with you!_

"Oh?" _He's in love? With who?_

"And I want to do something, but I'm afraid." _God...that dress._

"Don't be." _Did I just flirt that much? _

Joseph leaned close to her, and placed a hand gently on her cheek. Their eyes locked, and they kissed slowly. Clarisse put her hand behind his neck and pulled him closer.

"Your majesty..." He sighed softy, pulling away.

"Joseph, call me Clarisse." _My god, what are we doing?_ "I love you."

"What?" _Did she..._

"I really do, I love you."

"Do you mean that?" _She did..._

"I do. I really believe I love you, I've never felt this for anyone before." _Never._

"Not even..."

"No. I love you, has never come so easily. Ever." Joseph leaned in to kiss her again. _When did I get so lucky?_

"I love you, too." He whispered, gently running his hand through her hair.

"You do?"

"_I do."_

"_You may kiss the bride." Mia was cheering as they leaned in for their first public kiss, as husband and wife. The real fairy tale Clarisse had always been missing, was finally here. _

_They lived happily ever after._


End file.
